I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
