I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
