you guys were way drunker than both of me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
