I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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