can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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