Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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