its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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