did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I love having hate sex.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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