; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
