Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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