So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
