We're like a lot better than the average bears
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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