I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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