My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
