I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
