who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
