So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
