Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
