You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
