I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
