Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
