After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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