am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
