Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize