now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
should my penis look like a turkey
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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