your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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