I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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