Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
