I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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