oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
