he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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