what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
this will be a night to untag.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
