did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
