I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
