His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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