he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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