The best revenge is premature balding
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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