I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
