To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
