Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
