Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
