My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
