If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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