If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
