so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
