Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
