I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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