OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My balls are so social today.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
