i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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