MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
