They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize