the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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