can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
