guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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