hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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