so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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