I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
